God made a little Doxie
To brighten up our day.

He took a bit of sunshine,
Laughter, love, and play,

And rolled it up in a sausage shape
Just right for a hug,
With bright eyes full of mischief
Set in its little mug.

With little paws a pattering,
To take it here and there-

And a cold wet nose-but then He thought,
"Oh, what about the hair?

Shall I make it long and silky,
Or wiry, that's so sweet, or make it simple, and have it smooth
And satiny and neat?

And what about the color-
How can I pick just one?
Shall it be black, or red or brown
Or dappled, just for fun?"

He pondered while He made the world,
And all creatures great and small-

And then the answer came to Him-
"OF COURSE! I'll make them ALL!!"

So remember that a dachshund
is special, from above His coat of many colors
is a sign of God's great Love.

Author Unknown

1. My life is likely to last about 10 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice and when it's speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been in the sun too long or my heart may be getting old and weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old. You too, will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or "Let it happen in my absence". Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember, I love you.

Hi Sandra, Thanks for sharing the words of wisdom.
I love the Ten Commandments, wish everyone would follow them!
Thanks for contributing!
Andrea

You Know You're In A Dachshund House When....

1 Every purse and coat pocket is rifled when you walk through the door.
2 The bed has sausage shaped lumps under the covers.
3 The doggie door is only 8" high.
4 You're face gets licked by a dog standing on the back of the couch.
5 When you come into the house after being away only minutes and you are greeted like you've been gone for 10 years.
6 When someone hands you a tennis ball as soon as you walk in the door.
7 When the owner's introduce their Dachshund as their oldest son/daughter.
8 Footstools are placed strategically around the furniture and bed.
9 The house is decorated with Dachshund items.
10 The owner is decorated with Dachshund items.
11 Gates are placed in each doorway.
12 After the doorbell rings, you can't hear a thing for 10 minutes.
13 The alarm clock is set for HIS wake up time.
14 Dachshund "nose art" is proudly displayed on each window.
15 There are at least 45 balls laying around the house.
16 All socks, underwear, and shoes have holes in them.
17 The sign outside the house says, "Dachshund Lovers Parking Only."
18 You have to look before you take a step.
19 All squeak toys no long have squeaking ability.
20 The doors to many rooms must remain closed.
21 The owner's bed never remains made.
22 Rugs and furniture are all dark colors.
23 The cat litter box magically cleans itself.
24 You will find dogs instead of clothes in the laundry basket.
25 When you arrive, you find the living room covered with chewed up tampons, toilet paper rolls, Kleenex, etc…
26 All snow is shoveled from the yard to protect the "Ta-Ta's" of male Dachshunds.
27 You notice small fox holes in the yard.
28 You are kindly told not to eat the green beans and carrots because they are for the dogs.
29 Toy boxes are bone shaped.
30 All waste baskets and trash cans are elevated at least 3 ft. from the ground.
31 There is a Bissel Green Machine always within reach.
32 A cupboard is full of tiny clothes that were purchased before the owner realized that Dachshunds would rather remain nudists.
33 Company doesn't come around much anymore.
34 The owner talks a lot about getting a super king-sized bed.
35 The living room looks like it's covered with snow due to the batting which came out of de-stuffed toys.
36 Blankets cover each piece of furniture for better burrowing purposes.
37 The owner had no food yet his Dachshund has plenty of premium dog food.
38 The mailman is warned, "Watch out our he'll bite a hole in your sock."
39 The mailman passes a brightly colored card to other mailmen saying, "A dangerous animal lives inside. Do not use mail slot."
40 Bricks are placed inside trash cans so they don't get tipped over.
41 The Dachshund gets kisses before the owner's significant other.
42 The owner runs around looking for a "sitter" if they're going to be gone for more than a few hours.
43 It is too dangerous to walk around the house without shoes because of partly chewed up Nyla-Bones.
44 Little blue pee-pads are placed by the back door.
45 You notice that The Dachshund's receive more Christmas presents than human kids.
46 All the owner's computer "favorites" are Dachshund relate.
47 The grass is mowed very very very short.
48 There is always plenty of toilet paper to pick up poops.
49 The owner's bed is covered with no less than 4 gutted toys, 3 balls, and 2 nyla-bones.
50 You are immediately told not to sit in the dog's chair.
-Unknown Author

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund started chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovered that he was lost.

So, wandering about, he noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dachshund exclaimed loudly, "Boy! That was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride, and with a look of terror slunk away into the trees. "Whew," said the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he went. But the dachshund happened to spy him heading after the leopard with great speed. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Soon the dachshund saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and he thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet... and just when they got close enough to hear the dachshund, he said--

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

-Unknown Author

Things Dachshunds Must Try To Remember....

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food; although they are tasty, they are not food.

I will not eat any more socks, Kleenex or napkins, and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration.

I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath.

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying "hello."

I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

I will never again mess with a skunk. I now accept that they have every right to come into my yard. However, I will encourage my cat to attack them.

A butcher in his shop, the owner notices a Dachshund standing at the counter in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the Dachshund is back again. So he goes over to the Dachshund and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages please. The Dachshund has money in his mouth, as well." The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar bill as well. So he takes the money, and puts the sausages in a bag and places it in the Dachshund's mouth.

The butcher is well impressed, and since it's close to closing time, he decides to close the shop and follow the Dachshund. So off he goes. The Dachshund is walking down the street, when he comes to a level crossing. The Dachshund puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The Dachshund then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The Doxie checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The Dachshund walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the Dachshund goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the Doxie looking at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his saugages still in the bag in his mouth.

Well, Dachshund and butcher are walking along the road, and then the Dachshund turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself - Whap! - against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and - Whap! - throws himself against it again. There's no answer at the house, so the Dachshund goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the Dachshund. Yelling, ranting, and such at the little Doxie. The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing ? That Dachshund is a genius. He could be on TV, for heaven's sake!", to which the guy responds, "Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week that he's forgotten his key."

Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign on the door that read "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" Inside he noticed a harmless old Dachshund asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," the manager replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused.

"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me," he said. "Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the manager replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

Love these!
Nadine